Crying after wake up from my afternoon nap…………….and I can’t fig out the exact reason….
Maybe is cause of me, how I’m so different from others on the idea of how relationship should be like, thanks to my parent’s example which inspired me to choose to be faithful to my future husband, and I can’t fit in with the theory people have around me.
I don’t want the worldly “normal” standard in my relationship, now I still have no clue why people hurts each other on purpose when they truly likes/loves them, why they have to try to get other angry/jealous/sad just to know other one care/loves him/her? to see if their do care for you? to get revenge on them? to see how much they loves you? all of this kind of act with such purpose is so stupid and point less!
None of people around me actually fight to stay virgin or keep them self from such temptation for the purpose of because they don’t want to hurt their future spouse and other people……..none…………… they found it normal, and see it as part of the life…………. which I found this is a very abnormal thing, the only people who I know are virgin is because they don’t have the chance…….
Since my idea of relationship is different, and I’m naturally feel insecure all the time, I don’t trust human to give out my love to them, when I give out my heart, it always end up heart break only………… I don’t know how those people think, don’t know why don’t they just communicate? is it really that awkward to ask for how you want other to care/loves you in the way you want, instead of torturing them and hurting them and end up with separate with each other?
Maybe cause I realise how relationship should be like much earlier than most of people around me, and see lots ugly human nature of how they act to feel loved by others. I abuse those kind of incorrect way to gain love, and it makes me feel sad and disappoint…. because I love the people around me, I don’t hate humans, but the sinful stuff they do, other then what I have mention, is just so not beautiful……….
and I’m human too…….